Running to Stand Still

It is no secret that I have been on a mission to get my physical self into shape, shed some unwanted pounds, tone some muscles, you know, the usual thing people do every January for a couple of weeks and then slip back into old habits and forget all about it. Except that I started back in June. And have actually stuck with it. And rediscovered my long-forgotten enthusiasm for running. My husband and I signed up for Fort Worth's Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving Day, and the rest, as they say, was history. I signed up for several more 5Ks that very weekend. Since Thanksgiving 2010, I have competed in three more 5K races and signed up for at least one per month for the next several months. Running has given me much needed alone time, helped me to be motivated, and provided much enjoyment. Then...it happened. The week of Christmas, my left knee started to ache. I iced it and elevated it, even gave it a few days off. Then, I went back to running, reducing my schedule from 6-7 times per week to 4 times per week. I mixed up my training, alternated surfaces, rested my knee, took care of it...and ran for a couple of weeks and a race, without any major issues. Then last week, I ran on Tuesday, a particularly discouraging run, as the temperature was so frigid, it felt as though I could not get a deep breath, and my knee was hurting. It was so bothersome that I have taken a week (!!!!!!) off from running (chafing at the bit the entire time. I NEED to run). Well, Sunday and Monday I had no pain, so I thought, "Great! Tuesday morning it is." Guess what? I woke up Tuesday morning with knee pain AND a burning sensation over the top of my knee cap. So, now I do not know what to do. I cannot stop running. I will not stop running. But, recognizing my limitations and the need for my knee to heal, I want to train through this minor irritation carefully and intelligently. The pain is minor, thankfully, but my worry is that I will damage something if I run on it while something is obviously going on with it. The biggest issue I have with this is, "Why now?" Why, when I find some exercise (besides karate) that I actually like, does some issue come up to prevent me from doing it? My gut and my heart and my body tell me to RUN. Pushing my body to its limits of speed, endurance, and energy is exciting and stimulating and confidence building. My life is pretty tame, well, as tame as can be raising children, that is. A healthy, exciting, and stimulating activity that is socially and morally acceptable is rare. When you find something you love, you should hang on, right? Or is it let go? Maybe I am over thinking this, but who wants to keep running on a sore knee, only to have some doctor somewhere tell you, "If only! If only you'd rested it...If only you had stopped running...If only you had not been so stubborn! Now, you will never run again!" I realize that is a tad bit over dramatized, but seriously...Who wants to inflict further damage on some body part that you gotta keep using for (hopefully) many years to come? I have been trying hard in my life to listen. Really LISTEN. To people, to my body, to GOD. I am here to tell you that  1. I am unsuccessful most of the time (Why did GOD give me the gift of gab if I am supposed to listen? I mean, really...) 2. it is really, really, really, REALLY hard to listen and not be thinking of what I am going to say next 3. that people ask me if I am okay when I am practicing listening and not jabbering (I do not think this is a good sign) 4. ummmmmm...what was this blog about and how on earth did I get to this lame numbering thing? *reads back over what she has written, snaps fingers, says "AHA" (not really on the finger snapping and AHA part)*

So, listening ties to running - it really, really does...somehow...oh yeah, listening to my body. And, sorry left knee, but this body wants to run. Quit yer complaining and meet me on the trails (well, it might be more convenient if you just went with me, seeing as how you are attached and all, but it was a little more dramatic to say that, okay, left knee? Are you even listening?).