Just Start Somewhere!

This is a recycles post from my other blogspot site....the one that I wrote ONE whole post for....

I could never do that - how DO you find the time? That is the response I hear when dear, sweet, time-pressed mommas discover that other moms cook from scratch, home school, make homemade bread, bake, avoid fast food, don't drink sodas, or whatever other "thing" that is in vogue or out of vogue in the "I am the best mom EVAHHHH" competition women seem to find themselves in. I happen to be one of those moms that does a lot of those aforementioned things on a regular basis. And I actually enjoy it....Now, before you put me on a homemaker pedestal, I have a confession...I fed my family pizza rolls, frozen corn (it was organic, in my defense), carrot sticks, sliced cucumbers, and a salad for dinner tonight. On a Saturday....with no plans, practices, etc., going on. Just because it was dinner time and I failed to thaw the pot roast I had planned to cook. Oops. A little more confession....I failed to thaw the planned pot roast because I took a nap after I shopped for birthday presents today. Wow, shopping, a nap, and pizza rolls in one day!  

So, HOW does one incorporate homemade meals, crunchy (or even slightly crispy) living, home schooling, whatever into the hectic pace of modern living? It has all come about so gradually that I really had to think about this. First and foremost, I have learned to let some things go. Prioritize what is most important to me and maintain those things. For example, I hate a dirty dining table, so I make sure the kids clean up after they use it, every time, or I become a grouchy ball of frustrated momma. Things I have decided to let go for the moment....my house (or my family) having to look magazine ready. We live here, so it is likely there will be a mess somewhere at any given time. Truly. I don't even want to look at the game room or the boys' bathroom. Ew. The kids (mostly) manage their own laundry. Which means certain young male people in this house may or may not be wearing wrinkled clothes to church tomorrow and could possibly have one dirty sock and one clean sock on their feet. I am just not worried about it. A wrinkled shirt or mismatched socks will not steal my joy. For the record, I do correct these situations as I am able, but sometimes, it's just not worth the trouble. 

The next key to the crunchy, homemade lifestyle is to pick something. Do it a lot until it becomes a habit. Do it some more. Repeat...Really! For example, making chicken/beef stock used to seem positively ridiculous to even consider making...after all, they sell it at the grocery store in convenient little packages! Once I jumped in and made it a few times (after much internet research, of course), it has become a normal part of my life. It really doesn't take much to do it and the rewards are many. Since beginning this small, easy habit, I have discovered ways to do it faster and more efficiently. And this small habit has led to other small, healthy changes. It's a gateway crunchy habit! 

 Let me let you in on a little secret: I have perfectionist tendencies...which have been slowly and steadily wrung out of me over the past 17 or so years (7 kiddos will do that to you). You fellow perfectionist types will understand this next part. I have often times found it hard to start something because I want all of my ducks in a row first, or the conditions to be just right, etc. All related to a fear of failure. So, I learned to like failure and to embrace it. Of course, I like success more, but I have gotten to the point that failure doesn't scare me and I enjoy the feeling of learning something new and the (usually) funny story I have to tell. 

The bottom line here is: Pick something. Anything. Making broth is a good, easy one. Do it. A lot. Repeat until it is part of your life. Then pick something else and do it in addition to your already established habit. Pretty soon, you'll be on the road from convenient to crunchy, too! 

How to make chicken broth

chicken bones (you can start easy with a rotisserie chicken from the store or a whole chicken you've cooked)

water 

seasonings: a little salt, pepper, bay leaves 

veggies: onions, carrots, celery

Apple Cider Vinegar (optional)

Toss chicken, veggies, and seasonings in a large (stock) pan OR in your slow cooker. 

Fill the pan or slow cooker with water. 

Add a splash of Apple Cider Vinegar (just a small amount to draw the good stuff from the bones).

Cook it. On the stove top, I place the pan over medium heat to get a good simmer, then place a lid on the pan, turn the heat down to medium-low, and let it cook for several hours, until the broth is the color I want it to be. In the slow cooker, I put it on low and let it cook all night or all day. I do check it to make sure the liquid hasn't cooked down too much. If it has less water than I'd like, I add more. Don't add too much water, though - just if it has cooked down a lot more than you anticipated. 

After the broth is the color you desire, let the liquid cool. Then I usually pour the broth through a strainer into a bowl so I can easily separate out the bones and other throw away items (bay leaves). Once I have cleaned up the mess I have made, I transfer my chicken broth into mason jars and freeze it in the deep freeze. I use the BPA-free plastic lids for freezing. 

Let me know how it turns out! 

Paris - Day 1 a.k.a. Awake 39 Hours Straight

Greetings, you bloggy fans, you! I know I have been remiss in my blogging...really, really remiss. Sorry. :-/
I hope that you will accept an apology in the form of many, many pictures of and random thoughts related to my recent trip to France and England.

Without further ado....

Paris, day 1...a.k.a. Awake 39 hours straight

We breezed through security at DFW - shocker! - to board a fun 9-ish hour flight to Paris, the city of light. Not one person in our little group slept more than 20-30 minutes, so I am calling it as no sleep. Overnight flights are rather disorienting, but we were too excited to be in Paris to worry about that. Upon arrival at Charles de Gaulle, finding our contact to get us on the bus, losing half the group on the elevators, and finally, finally making it to the hotel (where we could not yet check in) and finding that our tour guide was stuck on the train over from England, we decided to stow our bags and head out for a walk and some lunch. Ye olde Francais was a bit rusty, but I managed to order and obtain an interesting lukewarm chicken and cheese sandwich (having forgotten the absolute yumminess that is the ham, cheese, and butter sammy - with which I became well re-acquainted later in the trip). We strolled around the Tour d'Eiffel area, along the Seine, and thoroughly enjoyed (read: kept moving so we would stay awake) a few hours in Paris. We did some shopping, lots of walking, and, BONUS, got caught in the rain, which led to much laughter and running from awning to awning to avoid the torrential downpour that had overtaken the city, while trying to keep 6 people (4 of whom were minors) together in a thoroughly unfamiliar place.

Long story short, we eventually made it back to the hotel, met up with the completely apologetic tour guide, checked into rooms, and regrouped for a short 15 minute walk to dinner (they allllllllways say its just a short 15 minute walk in Europe....always....and rarely is that the case). Dinner was divine, with some sort of mini cheese ravioli with buttery pesto sauce starter, plus delicious Beef Bourginon, awesome bread (of course), followed by a seriously yummy little cake-y dessert with a gooey center and amazing ice cream.

We then walked another short 15 minute walk to do a boat cruise along the Seine. I wish I could say that I remember the cruise in vivid detail....sadly, I do not remember much. I did get a few beautiful pictures, however....

Ugh...time stamp....I just spent many hours of my life uploading pics....and they all have a cursed (incorrect) time stamp on them. Egads....

Tracy's Thinks: In Search of My Sanity

Tracy's Thinks: In Search of My Sanity

It has certainly been a while since I blogged (that is just a weird verb....it sounds like a non-publicly displayed bodily function). I've written many blogs in my head that never actually make it to paper (screen?), but that is a whole other topic for another time. What I want to talk about, with the time of New Year's resolutions upon us, is my struggle with body image and disordered eating. This is all very personal and, frankly, the thought of sharing this publicly makes me want to curl into a ball and hide in the corner. For. The. Rest. Of. My. Liiiiiiifffffeeeeeeeee. I seek no pity, just to take another tentative step forward into a healthy me and to maybe, possibly, hopefully, help another human being to enjoy the brief span of time given on this earth just a little more.
     I was one of those girls that could eat. And eat. And EAT. And never gain weight. I prided myself on my lean frame. I secretly pitied my less-than-skinny friends. I never thought I'd struggle with weight. The interesting thing was that, despite the occasional overindulgence, I really had pretty good habits, naturally, as far as diet and exercise. As I got older and took on more responsibility in life, my time became more of a premium and bad habits began to take root. Anyways, as you probably know or can guess, that I did put on some weight and finally got to a breaking point where I knew I had to get it under control or I would be F-A-T forever (my distorted body image began long ago, but it REALLY reared its ugly head around this time and became part of my reality). This was when I sought help from a program that helped me lose 65 pounds. It was awesome. However, I did not take the time to address my issues, and the program then became a crutch for me. I got down to a mere 118 pounds (I'm 5' 6.75" - yes, that 0.75" is a necessary and important addition!), but had restricted myself from so much food that I had a very plain (and boring) diet. I justified my behavior, even when I binged on the things I denied myself every few months. No purging (because I am a total wimp when it comes to vomiting) or anything like that, just extreme guilt afterwards and the idea that I'd do better tomorrow/Monday/next week/some arbitrary and vague future time. I set myself up to think of certain foods as "cheat" foods, certain behaviors as me being "bad", and I equated following my strict rules of control of every bit of food to enter my mouth and every bit of exercise  to be counted and measured and accounted for as being "on plan" and "good". This mentality literally robbed me of my joy, my peace, and my enjoyment of life (and food). Why couldn't I just enjoy a piece of the delicious birthday cake or a couple of cookies, rather than deprive myself for months and then finally cave and eat half the darn cake and a dozen cookies all in one sitting? See, I had developed disordered eating on top of my negative body image, and now that I was thin, I was determined to NEVER go back.
     This went on for about two years, with me clinging desperately to the numbers on the scale, determined to keep them down and watching helplessly as they rose again, despite how much I ran and how much food I denied myself. Now, let me take a minute to clarify, before anyone freaks out: I DID eat. Probably not enough for my activity level, but I did eat what would be considered healthily...and I still do (mostly).
     This past summer my life got out-of-control busy and that, in combination with the extremely rough Spring I had just experienced and a fun extended trip with my family, caused chaos and I
slipped slowly out of my diet and exercise routines. The diet routine going out the window was a blessing in disguise. Even though I put on some of the weight I had lost, I rediscovered many foods that I had previously ruled out. I found I could no longer deprive myself of some of those foods. I also discovered that I really, really, really like the way I feel when I do eat in a healthy way, say 90% of the time. The world didn't end because I ate some froyo and some chips, all in the same day. There have been a few times when the bingeing on the previously denied foods has happened, but slowly, I've been able to enjoy those kinds of things  in reasonable amounts. It's a work in progress. I'm a work in progress. Every day, I have to remember that this won't be the last time I can ever have this food, so I better eat what I can stuff in my face NOW! I'm not telling myself that this or that food is off-limits, thereby leading to the deny-binge cycle I had going on. Phew. That stuff was hard to put into writing and admit to the world (or the approximately 1.33 people that may or may not read this blog).
      As for the body image issues, I'm working on it. It's hard. I've sought support from a group of loving individuals, and that has helped tremendously. It's a daily (constant) struggle to improve my negative self-talk. Dang, I'm mean to me. I'd never be that mean to anyone else (on a totally unrelated note, I just remembered that I had a really cool dream last night in which I was a ninja and it involved glass floors above big cities and climbing up and down cool wooden ladders and packing and unpacking a backpack with my jeans and socks - weird). Body image issues. Ugh. I hate most things about myself, yet don't see the flaws in others so much. In fact, I generally see lots of great attributes in others, both physical and character-wise. That is something that has changed about me - being less critical of those around me. Hallelujah for that. So, what to do about this body image issue, without taking it too far and becoming a big-headed fool....Is there anything I like about my physical appearance? At the moment, no, not really. When I weighed 118....no, not really. When I weighed 185....no,. not really. SEEEEEEEE, for me, the weight doesn't really matter. I've trained myself to not like me, no matter the size. That's just a little bonus crazy thrown in there for ya.
     My quest for a healthier me includes this body image issue, plus continuing my balanced, healthier eating style (less restrictive and more SANE), and building my strength and endurance. I want to revel in what my body can DO, rather than be stuck on something so superficial as how it looks. Gosh, it has been through more than 36 years of abuse, 4 babies birthed, surgeries, injuries, extreme exercise, extreme lack of exercise, too much food, not enough food, plus a whole bunch of other stuff too complicated to detail here.
     At this point, I want to offer my apologies to anyone I may have hurt along my journey, particularly through my facebook posts that were meant to be inspiring. Egads. That sounds so smug and self-righteous. See, I mistakenly and very, very wrongly thought that everyone wanted what I had and worse, should want it. That everyone was as unhappy with his or her body as I was, and desperately wanted to lose some weight. The idea that I may have made you feel defeated or ashamed of your body or that I made you forego your healthy eating and movement habits for something faster and more extreme is one that weighs heavily on my heart. To you, I am profoundly sorry. My intentions were good, if erroneous. Should you feel as though you need to talk this out with me, to share your viewpoint, please contact me. I will listen, apologize, and affirm you in whatever you choose to do or not do with your diet, weight, and health. I want to be a true encouragement for you, in that I am adopting a sane way of living and seeking to be truly and sustainably healthy, and not a hindrance to you in your journey, wherever you happen to be.
     Body image issues are not fun. I see a picture of myself and I am hyper-critical. Ugh. That's just got to stop. Will you join me in promising to be kinder to myself, particularly in my self-talk? Will you join with me in throwing out the cray-cray, extreme deprivation measures?
     Thanks for letting me talk(type) this out. I'm an "out-loud" processor, which drives my "let me fix it for you" husband up the wall. Please share with me if you, too, are struggling with these issues, if it will help you to be healthier. Love and peace and sanity to you in this new year!

Warning! Inane Post Ahead!

LONG TIME NO...see? That just does not sound right, but, whatever...I'll go with it.

How do I sum up the last 10 months in 10 seconds or less? Let's see:

Ran a lot, lost more weight, started a business, found out mother-in-law has cancer, almost bought a new house, did not buy a new house,oldest child started high school, taught school for 6 weeks, quit teaching so m-i-l could move in, husband lost job, SOOOO glad did not buy that new house, and...well...lots of other stuff.

Rather lame, I know, but, hey, it is my blog and I can do what I want.

So this business thing turned out to be great because if my husband is not able to find a job right away (scarily probable in this job market and economy), at least we have some income. Heavy emphasis on some.

Why a blog post now - after all this time? Heck if I know. I am seized by these random thoughts that must find an outlet, so there you go.

I also discovered that I can resist just about any yummy food - except homemade chocolate cake. So, my strategy was to get rid of it as fast as possible - which did not decrease my calories consumed, but did guarantee that the cake would not turn into a long-term problem. So, I am fallible in the nutrition department, despite my stellar record the past 14 months. Ah well, we all have a weakness, I suppose.

On an unrelated note, I am looking forward to the Ranger's game this evening. After I mop the floor (BOO) and go work out (all that cake, you know...).

Okay, yes, not my best post, but I had to post SOMETHING. :)

You've Got an Arrow in Your Butt and Other Unexpected Life Events

If you have not seen the great American classic film, Shrek, then you simply will not think that title is funny, but me, I love that title. I have also seen that particular movie more than I would like admit. 


Incidentally, I always wanted to use the word "butt" in a title, and now I have. That makes me truly happy. It is the little things...are my standards too low? Nah!


So, life shoots an arrow in your butt. What now? My plans are well-laid, ducks in a row, eggs in the basket, yadda yadda yadda. Why do these things happen? And why does it surprise me when they do? Does this mean I should simply stop planning and let life fly me by the seat of my pants wherever the wind takes me? (Why, yes, yes, I am trying to fit every tired old cliché I can possibly think of into one post. You caught me. Red -handed...haHAH, score!) 


I do not think this is the answer. 


Most of the disturbance associated with these plan changing life events (such as butt arrows...i'm just sayin'...), is entirely MENTAL. Yes. Yeeessss. YES! TOTALLY. MEEENNNTTTAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL (gasps for air)...LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. (not really gasping. I run long distance people, I have way better lung capacity than that, but it looked funny, so I went with it. I amuse myself. Greatly)


I digress. 


I am sure somebody SOMEWHERE said that 99% of everything is attitude. I just don't know who, and yes, that is yet another cliché. But one full of truth. As much as I would like to whine and point at all the things that have to change and all the work that has to be done because of said life events, the biggest and realest (I know, but it helped with continuity) problem is how I respond, both internally and externally. *sigh* So not what I want to hear when my party is pooped, my feathers are ruffled and my butt done got an arrow stickin' ouuta it. 


And, as much as I want to yank out those arrows and get back to my plan, I look back on my life...and know that many of the best things that have happened are the direct or indirect result of a butt arrow. What wonderful things, people, experiences, and knowledge I may have missed out on if I had not experienced the pain of the arrow. 


So, the next time life throws you a curveball or a big ol' bunch of lemons, I hope you think of me and my butt arrow blogging. (all these clichés may be crossing the line...I did it AGAIN.)


To those of you who don't have any clue what I am talking about or what all these parenthetical rants raves sidebars are all about, don't worry, it is not important. I am just weird. To those of you who do (and I have a feeling I know who that is), well, as you know, I am weird. Sooooooo, I guess the point to those who get me and those who don't was one and the same. Redundancy is my middle name (TOO MUCH, I tell 'ya).

Running to Stand Still

It is no secret that I have been on a mission to get my physical self into shape, shed some unwanted pounds, tone some muscles, you know, the usual thing people do every January for a couple of weeks and then slip back into old habits and forget all about it. Except that I started back in June. And have actually stuck with it. And rediscovered my long-forgotten enthusiasm for running. My husband and I signed up for Fort Worth's Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving Day, and the rest, as they say, was history. I signed up for several more 5Ks that very weekend. Since Thanksgiving 2010, I have competed in three more 5K races and signed up for at least one per month for the next several months. Running has given me much needed alone time, helped me to be motivated, and provided much enjoyment. Then...it happened. The week of Christmas, my left knee started to ache. I iced it and elevated it, even gave it a few days off. Then, I went back to running, reducing my schedule from 6-7 times per week to 4 times per week. I mixed up my training, alternated surfaces, rested my knee, took care of it...and ran for a couple of weeks and a race, without any major issues. Then last week, I ran on Tuesday, a particularly discouraging run, as the temperature was so frigid, it felt as though I could not get a deep breath, and my knee was hurting. It was so bothersome that I have taken a week (!!!!!!) off from running (chafing at the bit the entire time. I NEED to run). Well, Sunday and Monday I had no pain, so I thought, "Great! Tuesday morning it is." Guess what? I woke up Tuesday morning with knee pain AND a burning sensation over the top of my knee cap. So, now I do not know what to do. I cannot stop running. I will not stop running. But, recognizing my limitations and the need for my knee to heal, I want to train through this minor irritation carefully and intelligently. The pain is minor, thankfully, but my worry is that I will damage something if I run on it while something is obviously going on with it. The biggest issue I have with this is, "Why now?" Why, when I find some exercise (besides karate) that I actually like, does some issue come up to prevent me from doing it? My gut and my heart and my body tell me to RUN. Pushing my body to its limits of speed, endurance, and energy is exciting and stimulating and confidence building. My life is pretty tame, well, as tame as can be raising children, that is. A healthy, exciting, and stimulating activity that is socially and morally acceptable is rare. When you find something you love, you should hang on, right? Or is it let go? Maybe I am over thinking this, but who wants to keep running on a sore knee, only to have some doctor somewhere tell you, "If only! If only you'd rested it...If only you had stopped running...If only you had not been so stubborn! Now, you will never run again!" I realize that is a tad bit over dramatized, but seriously...Who wants to inflict further damage on some body part that you gotta keep using for (hopefully) many years to come? I have been trying hard in my life to listen. Really LISTEN. To people, to my body, to GOD. I am here to tell you that  1. I am unsuccessful most of the time (Why did GOD give me the gift of gab if I am supposed to listen? I mean, really...) 2. it is really, really, really, REALLY hard to listen and not be thinking of what I am going to say next 3. that people ask me if I am okay when I am practicing listening and not jabbering (I do not think this is a good sign) 4. ummmmmm...what was this blog about and how on earth did I get to this lame numbering thing? *reads back over what she has written, snaps fingers, says "AHA" (not really on the finger snapping and AHA part)*

So, listening ties to running - it really, really does...somehow...oh yeah, listening to my body. And, sorry left knee, but this body wants to run. Quit yer complaining and meet me on the trails (well, it might be more convenient if you just went with me, seeing as how you are attached and all, but it was a little more dramatic to say that, okay, left knee? Are you even listening?).

Get REAL!

I yearn for authenticity and sincerity. In a world that is sorely lacking both (among a whole lot of other stuff)...I just want people to be nice, tell the truth, and be REAL! Is that so much to ask? That is all for now...